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Independent Senior Housing -

Time To Have Fun

by Madonna Jeffries

As we all age and approach our retirements most of us look to change our living arrangements to reflect our senior status and our changing suite of needs and requirements. Once we stop working we start to look at how we intend to spend our retirement, particularly what activities and hobbies we intend to pursue. We also consider our living arrangements and often take the opportunity to downsize our suburban homes and relocate to more appropriate accommodation, whist still maintaining our independence.

There are literally tens of thousands of independent senior housing projects that we can move to, each offering the senior citizens alternative living arrangements, either as couples or as individuals. These facilities have been specifically designed with the resident's needs in mind and often provide a range of services, including health and related support services.

Many of the independent senior housing facilities are designed to allow the residents to maintain their individualistic lifestyles whilst at the same time providing a level of security that they may not otherwise be able to enjoy in a typical home. These housing communities draw their residents based on the type of services offered, thus allowing the occupants the option of choosing whether or not he or she wants to participate in the services or programs offered.

Typically these housing communities revolve around specific activities or services such as swimming pools, gymnasiums or maybe bike & walking paths. Additionally they make offer facilities such as day spas, chapels, beauty salons, retail shops as well as libraries.

There are many that incorporate a central dining room which allow residents the opportunity to have prepared meals as well as providing interaction with fellow lodgers. A number of housing communities offer in-house health services, or they may be affiliated with a health care provider that visits the site to provide assistance and related services such as counseling or physiotherapy to those residents in need.

Whilst it is typical that the residents purchase their own housing within the complex there are some facilities that offer long term rental plans. Along with the purchase of the housing there are regular monthly payments required to contribute towards the services offered by the facility as well as for the upkeep and maintenance of common property and facilities such as gardens and swimming pools. Often, if the resident requires daily health care or home assistance such as housework, meal preparation, personal care, shopping or transportation then these services are provided on a user pays basis.

The most positive aspect of an independent senior housing facility is that it provides senior citizens the opportunity to live independently and not have to rely on others for their welfare until it is actually required. As a senior citizen, the selection of the type of community housing that you want will ultimately depends on the lifestyle you intend to lead, together with the range of services you require in order to live comfortably as well as maintaining your health. Additionally, your financial situation has a large influence as to the affordability of which senior housing projects you are able to move to.

If you are approaching retirement age and feel that this style of living arrangement is what you are looking for then it is in your best interest to start researching the independent senior housing communities that are located near to you. Visit the facilities and ask them to provide full details of the costs involved so that you can determine which are best suited to your needs for now and in the future, as you age and require additional assistance from a health and ongoing care perspective.

5 Natural Stress Relief Techniques for Children

by: Michael Atma

Is your child stressed out? Some people think only adults experience stress, but it affects our children too. Here's how to help your child manage their emotions.

We often view our kids as happy-go-lucky beings without a care. But children can also experience stress. Not only do they get anxious about things in their own young world--school, friends, peer pressure--but they also can be deeply affected by outside factors such as war, natural disasters and other unsettling world events.

In fact, the list of contributors to childhood stress can be quite long. Many stressors are the result of family problems, like divorce, a death or a parent's job loss but there are also less obvious triggers such as moving to a new city or the birth of a new sibling.

As a parent, you can become attuned to what's a normal amount of anxiety for your child and what is not. If you notice anything out of the ordinary, use the following tools to help your child handle it better.

Tuning into Anxiety Attack symptoms

1. Tune in to their moods.

Pay attention to your child's behavior. Take the time to talk to your child to get to the root of the problem. Ask questions like "How are you feeling?" "What's happening at school?" or "How are things with your friends?"

When you show concern for their problems and issues, it's reassuring to them and they'll be more responsive to that attention.

2. Watch the same shows they do.

If you have younger children, you certainly don't want them watching the doom and gloom of daily news shows. Children's minds are like sponges in they absorb almost everything they see or hear.

They are especially sensitive to negative energy, pain or suffering. Shows like the news can be traumatizing and anxiety-producing for younger children.

It's important to discuss with them what they've seen. You can't tell them that it's never going to happen to them but you can say, "We're going to do everything we can to protect you". It's also a good idea to let them know whom to call and what to do in case of an emergency.

3. Focus on the positive.

There is obviously no way a child can be shielded from a major trauma such as a death in the family, a house fire or natural disaster.

Instead, help children count their blessings. Comfort and reassure them by saying, "We're strong and we're going to make it." "And as difficult as it may be, try to maintain everyday routines. For many young victims of floods or fire, for example, going back to school, even in another city, can help bring some normalcy back to their disrupted lives. What can also help is to make sure children have positive outlets like physical activity, going to the movies or spending time with friends.

4. Lead by example.

Children often learn to deal with stress by mimicking how you respond in challenging times. Even if you don't tell your child that you're about to be laid off from your job or that you're worried that your marriage is on the verge of breaking up, they can still pick up on your stress. They may not understand the underlying causes but they can hear the strained tone and elevated volume of your voice, which gives them the message that something's going on that may affect them too.

That's why it's so important to show them good coping skills. If you light a cigarette, have a drink, or use foul language when you're under pressure, your little one may internalize that as a coping method. Instead, model healthy behavior during difficult times, such as writing in a journal, de-stressing in a hot bath, sharing how you feel without blaming, or taking a walk.

5. Instill confidence.

When children are young, there are times when you will have to come to their defense and help them handle tough situations. But as they get older, you also have to let them champion themselves, which builds their confidence in their ability to resolve problems on their own.

One of your missions as a parent is to know when to step in and when to stand back. Your response will depend on the child's temperament, maturity and the situation. For example, your third grader may be able to confront a taunting classmate on their own, but a serious case of bullying may warrant your intervention. Still, always make sure your child knows you've got their back. Tell them, "Try it on your own first, but if you need help, let me know and I'll be there."

To Your Great Life and Health...

About The Author: Michael Atma is an internationally known author, speaker & success coach. He has helped thousands of people to enjoy the benefits of natural stress relief that meditation brings. Michael has developed "The Ultimate Relaxation Program" which includes his highly acclaimed stress relief CD -The Ultimate Relaxation!

For Free Details CLICK HERE

The Relationship between Self-Esteem                and Development

Excerpts from Parenting for Excellence,

The Stelle Group

 

“High self-esteem is based on your child’s belief that he is lovable and worthwhile.”

~Your Child’s Self-Esteem, Dorothy C. Briggs~

Even the most psychologically unsophisticated parents know something about the importance of self-esteem; and many parents have read and thought a lot about it. It’s something we all want a good portion of for our children. We intuitively feel good about their development, if they obviously like being who they are. Even the least attentive parent will sense danger signals from children who are learning to feel seriously inadequate.

Teaching reading, swimming, math and music to two-year-olds may still be a new idea to the average parent, but virtually everyone agrees that good parenting involves helping children believe in themselves. How heartening!

Or is it? Since high self-esteem is universally valued, we’d expect to see a lot of it; yet many psychologists say it’s rare. According to Nathaniel Branden, in his The Psychology of Self-Esteem, “The majority of men, as adults, suffer from a significant deficit of self-esteem.” And a psychologist who differs from Branden on several points, Albert Ellis, more than agrees on this point. In A Guide to Rational Living he writes, “Only a relatively limited number of talented, intelligent, competent, or well-loved people can gain self-esteem or self-confidence.” Yet there seems to be a consensus among psychologists that parents are right; the level of one’s self-esteem is extremely important and this is based on much evidence.

                                   

 
SOME OF THE RESEARCH

Higher Creative Intelligence  In a study done at Middle Tennessee State University, students who scored high in creative intelligence were found to have significantly higher levels of self-confidence than low scorers.

More Happiness  Another study, at Boston University, found that generally the higher level of self-esteem people had, the happier they were.

Feeling Better Liked  Two studies, from the University of Massachusetts and Marburg University in Germany, demonstrated that how much a person likes himself strongly affects how he thinks others feel toward him. Persons with low self-esteem, “consistently fancied slights when none were intended.”

Liking Others More  Still another study, at Britain’s Bradford University found even clearer evidence that, generally, “a person’s attitude toward himself was duplicated in his attitude toward other people.” People who liked themselves liked other people too. And those who rejected or felt hostile toward others felt the same way about themselves.

Fewer Accidents  Perhaps more startling is research from the University of California on people who tend to be, “emotionally less mature, less responsible, more antisocial and not well-adjusted.” These traits are associated with low self-esteem; they are also the characteristics of persons who are accident-prone.

Less Pain  Other research, from psychiatrists at the University of Melbourne, found that persons with low self-esteem were extremely sensitive to various kinds of aches & pains, often with no organic cause. The psychiatrists pointed out that, “the amount of pain a person feels from any hurt or indisposition depends on his pain threshold, which is directly affected by his mental attitude.” They strengthened the evidence by having especially pain-sensitive persons undergo psychological counseling. This brought significant improvement in their self-esteem, and a reduction in the pain they felt.

Less Fear  Two more studies, from Stockton State College and Columbia University, find less fear of death and fewer fears in general among persons who are self-accepting and have “a heightened sense of personal identity,” both aspects of high self-esteem.

Such a wealth of research may only confirm our own good common sense. Or it might give us a fuller, more accurate image of what strong self-esteem really means. A third possibility is that such information could help redefine what’s possible for us and our children as human beings now. All of the people studied, those with both low and high self-esteem, were real people. We can choose to learn from those who had high self-esteem.

Research done at Western Kentucky University may best describe such persons. The study concerned persons who “listen” to themselves and who are truly self-aware, both attributes of adults who like, trust, and esteem themselves. “They develop their vocational potential in accordance with their personality needs. The mysterious, unknown and the environment do not threaten them. And they are not threatened by themselves… They have a healthy desire and respect for people, yet rely fully on themselves and their own capacities, own needs, rather than the dictates of society or the environment. They make their own decisions, even in the face of controversies and popular opinion. They maintain their own points of view and are not swayed easily. And they have peak experiences often… They have learned what is & what is not possible to them and have taken the appropriate steps to develop what is possible.”

 

HOW SELF-IMAGE EVOLVES

Jon and Ben are both three years old.

At home Jon hears a lot of communication like this:

“Don’t touch that knife; you might cut yourself!

“Oh no! You spilled milk all over the floor again.”

“How long ‘til we leave for the zoo? Oh, it won’t be long now.”

Ben hears a lot of communication like this:

“That knife you’re holding is very sharp. I’ll stand here beside you while you’re inspecting it and help you learn to handle it safely. Look at the two edges of the knife; can you tell which one is sharp?”

“Whoops! That’s too bad, but we can fix it. Here’s a towel for wiping it up. Would you like me to help you?”

“How long ‘til we leave for the zoo? Well, let’s go look at the clock and find out. We’ll leave about 2:00, when the small hand points to two and the big hand points straight up. Where is the small hand pointing now?”

Jon frequently hears that something bad is going to happen to him (get cut). Because his parents are the ones who make such statements, Jon believes they must be true. He gradually comes to expect problems — especially if he follows his natural urge to explore. Ben, on the other hand, is not frightened into obedience. Instead he is given appropriate assistance, patient supervision, and information. (look for the sharp edge).

Jon gets many messages that he does things his parents don’t like (spilled milk again). Ben also may spill milk, but he is spoken to encouragingly and given the means to remedy his mistake. When Jon asks question, the answers he gets are often vague, implying that he wouldn’t understand anything more specific, or that his question isn’t serious. The answers are also usually short and tend to stop further communication. Ben’s questions elicit specific information plus help in figuring out the answers for himself. The responses he gets tend to call for further thinking and conversation from him.

Looking carefully at such small interactions in everyday life, we find the building blocks of self-esteem — physical contact, tone of voice, facial expressions, body language, words used, amount and kind of information shared. All are signals telling our children what we feel about them. From these cues they build bit by bit, their definition of themselves. Jon is well on the way to feeling unimportant, fearful and clumsy. Ben has a good start on feeling secure, capable, and important. Both may have loving parents but the two boys are getting very different self-images.

They are probably also experiencing very different rates of intellectual growth. If both boys go on a field trip, for instance, Ben will use most of his energy taking in new information. Jon is designed to do the same, but a part of him will be holding back, convinced, from past experience, that his questions will not be taken seriously, investigation will bring a reprimand and that he needs to be very careful not to get hurt. All the energy Jon uses to protect himself is energy not going into learning.

High self-esteem frees the ability to learn; therefore, parents can enhance their child’s intellectual development by improving their child’s self-esteem. Conversely, learning strengthens self-esteem.

And how does a parent improve a child’s self-esteem? There are two basic ways. One is to help a child learn more.

One reason Ben feels so good about himself is that he knows he can do a lot— handle a knife safely, wipe spills, tell time, etc. A parent aware of the significance of self-esteem will make it a point to teach Jon these and many other skills. With each skill he learns, Jon will feel a bit more at home in the world, more secure and confident. He will come to feel worthwhile.

The other part of enhancing self-esteem is nurturing, cherishing, valuing the child. That means a lot of simple things, like eye contact, holding, putting down work to give a child full attention, acknowledging a child’s efforts in any endeavor, and just being there consistently.

As psychoanalyst Scott Peck puts it in The Road Less Traveled, “There is no better and ultimately no other way to teach your children that they are valuable people than by valuing them.” How? “The time and quality of the time that their parents devote to them indicates to children the degree to which they are valued by their parents.”

Most parents love their children The trick is to be sure the children feel it. The patterns of parenting we absorbed from our own parents may communicate that love to our children— or may not. The encouraging thing is that we can learn new patterns.

If you can read only one book about parenting, make it Your Child’s Self-Esteem, by Dorothy Corkille Briggs. Read a little bit each day &  incorporate some new practices into your parenting.